Bar Boy 03

My freshman year of college I roomed with a girl named Emily from San Antonio, TX. On our first night in the dorms after all of our unpacking was done, we shut off the lights and crawled up into our rickety lofted beds. My body ached and my eyelids were heavy after climbing nine flights of stairs at least fifteen times that day. Just as I was about to drift off into a heavy slumber I heard Emily say in the sweetest of voices, “So, tell me about your love life!” Oh no, I thought. I was stuck with one of those girls!?

After the initial shock of being asked a very personal question by this girl that I did not know had faded, we began to talk. We talked about everything. It was in this conversation that Emily and I became the best of friends, but it was also in this conversation that I realized how very different Emily and I were on all matters related to love and lack there of!

Me and my bestfriend/roommate, Emily!

Emily had been raised very traditionally when it comes to these things. She was taught that she was a lady to be persued by boys (which at the time they all were…) in friendships and in relationships and that to make the first move in either kind of relationship was not her obligation in the least. What this meant in practical terms is that if a guy wanted to talk to Emily they would text her, and if a guy wanted to meet Emily they would approach her.

I have to give the girl credit… she carried herself with such confidence that she never had a problem getting the guy.  I on the other hand, had been raised differently. My mom had always taught me that if I wanted something, I would be the one to make it happen. Now, this did not mean that I was throwing myself at guys, but I didn’t have a problem being the first to text someone (Emily never hesitated to express her shock to this fact…)

After living together for a year we came to completely appreciate one another and our differences. We had been through all of the excitements and disappointments of freshman year together and realized that neither of us had it figured out in the least. By the end of that year we had rubbed off on one another just enough to create a little more balance in each of our lives!

So, fast forward two years…Emily and I are juniors in college and it’s a Friday night. Our talking and laughing drown the bass-heavy music at the local college-town bar as we sit around a table filled with some of my closest friends. Out of the corner of my eye I spot him sitting about two tables to the right. (He will remain nameless throughout this post…I don’t want to give too much away!)

Em and I a few years later!

I had met him only once before in a very different setting. I didn’t know much about him but I knew he was a law student, which meant he was probably about three years older than me, and that he was cute…really cute. I leaned over to my friend Tyler and told him the whole story. Tyler, being the outspoken friend that he is said to me, “I’m sorry, what the hell are you still doing here? Go talk to him!”

I immediately looked at Emily who had been listening to our whole conversation. I tried to determine what she was thinking, but before I had time to ask she said, “Well you heard him! You’re a Yes-Girl so get out of here!” I was shocked. I looked at her again and through the dim lighting I could see a trace of disbelief on her own face! I was up before she had time to change her mind.

As I fearlessly marched towards his table in my favorite pair of heels I was hyper aware of all of the eyes watching me from the table I had just left. This was something I never imagined I’d be doing. I was about halfway to his table when sheer panic set in. WHAT AM I DOING!? I mentally screamed at myself…but I was already up, and I was still walking, there was no going back now.

I got to his table and much to my surprise he remembered me. We talked for longer than I expected. After about ten minutes I decided to retreat before I said something idiotic and blew my calm, cool and collected cover. I said my goodbyes and pranced back to my own table in complete disbelief of everything that had just happened…

a)    I approached a table full of people that I didn’t know, sans one whom I had only known loosely...

b) They were all older than me, and very attractive

c) He actually remembered me…or at least pretended to…

d) I didn’t trip on the way back to my own table

What was happening!? As I sat down Tyler’s jaw dropped. “I cannot believe you actually did that, good for you,” he commended me. I leaned in towards Emily and she hugged me and said, “You brave girl, I’m proud of you!” We then proceeded to laugh for a solid hour about the newest “yes” that I had just added to my list.

The biggest success of the whole ordeal, however, wasn’t that he remembered me or that Emily was proud of me. In fact, the guy had nothing to do with it at all! My true success was that I was proud of myself! There is something very empowering about doing something that surprises even you!

I can say with full confidence that this was the first time in my Yes Journey that any outward action of mine has really made me feel some kind of change and growth within myself. As silly as it may sound, approaching a guy at a bar really did change my life!

I left the bar about thirty minutes later still laughing at my bold maneuver surrounded by my closest friends. If it weren't for good friends like Tyler and Emily who knows where I'd be on my Yes Journey! Probably not approaching hot law students at bars...and probably not having nearly as much fun!

If you are single there is always one thing you should take out with you on a Saturday night: your friends. -Carrie Bradshaw